March 5, 2010, 11:06 pm
I am 19 years of age, and all my life I've felt so different from others. Growing up as a child I always pondered a lot and analyzed things for more than what they were at the surface. At the ages of 5-9 I was sexually abused.(Yes, I do believe that to be part of the reason as to why I feel so separate from the rest.) I am in a normal state of health now than I was before thanks to counseling, I pretty much live a normal teenage life as well. Although I had a nightmare of a life as a child, I am grateful in a esoteric way. Why you ask? Well with such a past that I had and faced it did not only effect my childhood, but it also followed me all the way through my early teenage years making me a very open-minded, understanding, and appreciative of the simplest things in life many take for granted. I have affected several lives both acquaintances and friends for the better I believe. Secondly, I often get disgusted/sick to my stomach at the thought and sight of several actions by other humans. I believe there's more to life than what people make life seem to be, like the worship of celebrities, the need for materialism, superficiality, animal needs etc... I think those things can only go to a certain extent. Here are some quotes of mine that I live by, "Double-standards are a violation to life, they are forms that imprison several minds from being their unique innate-selves", "Religion is the impotence of the human mind to cope with occurrences it can't understand", " I'm evolved past the needs and urges for conditional love; relationships are all about conditions", "Time corrupts, yields, and heals", "There's no realism to luck, we create our own desired expectations through the choices we make. Hope is a road that leads you nowhere" Those are just a few for the list goes on. In the end, I feel from another planet. As if I don't belong anywhere. The closest thing I may call home is when I share my thoughts with few friends that come near my understanding of things. So I ask, What do you make of me? (sorry if my thoughts are out of order, I just expressed myself unordered and sorry if my grammar/punctuation is not great)